Europe Trip 2023 Part 1: Germany

Hello sausage lovers,

In 2023 my life changed for the better.  I began the year with the seemingly unattainable New Year's resolution that many attempt and fail every year: lose a significant amount of weight.  I got a gym membership, went 5 days per week, changed my diet, gave up drinking beer and consuming sugar and junk food, and was able to lose 50 pounds by June.  

I also started traveling again for the first time in 4 years after attending my dear friend Chris's wedding in Colorado Springs.  I did not, however, give up eating and making sausages and cured meats!

Another one of my dear friends whom I have known over 20 years, Armon, moved to Germany in 2022, and in what appeared to be an attempt to goad me into visiting him, started sending me fliers for many metal festivals which are very popular in Germany.  One in particular stood out to me, and that was Black Hole Fest Germania, which was being held at Balver Höhle, which is a historic venue CAVE(!!!) in North-Rhine-Westphalia.  

The Festival was going to headlined by Watain, one of my favorite black metal bands hailing from Uppsala, Sweden.  I proceeded to plan a 2-week trip to visit Armon, attend Black Hole Fest Germania, and spend a week with my paternal grandfather in Sweden afterwards.

Black Hole Fest Germania 2023

I landed in Köln where I met up with Armon at the airport.  We took the commuter rail to Kalk where Armon resided, which is a neighborhood in Köln on the east side of the Rhine river.

Kalk

After getting settled in Armon thought it would be a good time to tour the local area and try Germany's most well known street food: Döner kebab!  Yes, it was delicious, obviously.

Mangal Döner kebab

We also stopped by the local grocery store chain, Kaufland, to sample some German charcuterie.  I was incredibly blown away by the shear amount of processed meats that Germany affords.  I spent at least 20 minutes wandering the deli area and felt like a kid in a candy store.  It truly put my local SoCal grocery stores to utter shame.  

Not being able to settle on what to try, Armon decided I should try some of his personal favorites, namely Zungenwurst (blood sausage with chunks of cured tongue) and Bergkäse (mountain cheese).

Mikael in Kaufland

We went back to the apartment to sample the charcuterie over beers.  Unfortunately, both Zungenwurst and Bergkäse did not agree with my palette, although I am glad I still got to try such strongly-flavored German delicacies. 

Zungenwurst

The rest of my stay in Köln leading up to the festival were spent wandering around and eating mostly Turkish cuisine but also many German classics while doing the standard euro tour stuff: visiting landmarks, eating restaurant and street food, and so forth.

Kölner Dom

We were also visiting every Metzgerei (German butcher shop) looking for Pferdewurst (horse sausage).  My all-time favorite sausage is the Swedish Gustafskorv, which is a large horse sausage hot-smoked over young spruce wood.  Unfortunately, I was unable to find any horse sausage the whole time I was in Köln.

Like a child on Christmas

Metzgerei vending machine

I was also blown away by just how much beer the Germans drink.  Everyone knows that Germany is known for their beer culture but I had to see it with my own eyes just how much beer is drunk everywhere, all the time, without end.  Most nights were spent visiting various restaurants and taverns.  

There also doesn't appear to be open beverage laws in Germany to my American bewilderment, and great fun was had walking through Köln drinking Weg Bier (beer for the road).

Jonas, Mikael, Armon

We visited a tavern that served traditional German fare, and I ordered the requisite Schweinshaxe (roasted pork hock) while Armon ordered a famous sausage dish from Köln: Himmel und Erde (heaven and earth), which is a dish of apples (heaven), potatoes (earth), with blood sausage and gravy.  Both were fantastic.

Himmel und Erde

Schweinshaxe

On another day, Armon took me to a famous Schnitzel joint, Bei Oma Kleinmann.  I ordered Schnitzel Olaf Maria, which was the version covered with capers and anchovies.  Delicious.

Schnitzel Olaf Maria

Now we reach the real reason behind the trip: Black Hole Fest Germania!  I rented a car since we planned on driving to and from the cave the two days rather than camping.  The drive from Köln to Balver Höhle was very scenic, as North-Rhine-Westphalia is very hilly and green.  

The last 30 minutes or so of the drive was through a dark meandering mountain pass.  It was very grim and foreboding especially since it was so dark and we were headed to a black metal festival in a cave.  

Antzaat setting up

The cave had really nice natural acoustics and was very damp and literally dripping from the ceiling.  I think the ambient falling water broke one of the amps Warmoon Lord were planning to use.  

Their pre-set issues combined with the issues during their set were very fun to watch given they are a young and up-and-coming black metal band.  They couldn't get their tone right, the aforementioned amp issues, and the vocalist got his hood caught on his massive spikes and he furiously struggled to get untangled.  It was pure youthful black metal energy at play.

Warmoon Lord

The headliner for the first night was Dutch powerhouse Helleruin.  I listened to Helleruin for the first time a month prior when I saw they were promoted to headliner for day 1 and was very impressed by the band.  The music sounds very similar to Taake who I am a huge fan of, and after seeing the multi-instrumentalist frontman's stage antics, I can see he takes after Hoest from Taake.  

Between the drinking of an entire bottle of wine during the set, to yelling at the light engineers to "turn down those fucking lights!", to picking a fight with an audience member at the conclusion of their set, it was the perfect way to conclude day one.  I got an automated speeding ticket on the drive back...

Helleruin

Day two of BHFG was highly anticipated, since it was to be headlined by Watain, one of my favorite black metal bands.  Watain does a highly immersive stage performance that usually involves blood, fire, and death (Bathory reference).  

I was not sure they were going to get away with that much fire since it was in a cave, and I was unsure if Watain still did the whole blood dousing ritual, but I knew no matter what I was going to be in the front row.  

We were very impressed by two of the bands who opened for Watain: Ghörnt, and Thy Light.

Ghörnt

Ghörnt is an up-and-coming black metal band from Switzerland, led by a young multi-instrumentalist who does all the instruments and songwriting in the studio, and played drums live.  Very guttural vocals and killer fast drums.  Favorite track: Häxesabbath

Thy Light

Thy Light is a DSBM band originally from Brazil.  They played very atmospheric, sometimes melodic and grim depressive black metal.  They stood out since the frontman plays a couple solos in some songs, which is rare for black metal.  Favorite song: Infinite Stars Thereof

Watain setting up

Now to the main reason we all came here.  Watain needed an entire crew of ~6 people to set up their stage props and alters.  The venue also needed to bring in a fire marshal, to the amusement of the crowd, to inspect and approve the various pyromancies that Watain intended to invoke.  

Then I smelled something foul when a foam box was opened by the crew: it was 7 rotting sheep's heads to be placed at the various black altars.  Immediately I began to understand I was in for the full Watain experience.

Watain frontman Erik Danielsson

The energy in the crowd changed immediately after Watain begun playing.  The mostly mellow German crowd actually almost started moshing.  Charismatic frontman Erik Danielsson performed various rituals during the set, including burning his hand, muttering satanic invocations, interacting with various satanic fetishes and the rotten sheep heads, and of course blessing the crowd with the rotten blood.  

I was in the front row when the blood was thrown, and put my arm over my eyes to avoid getting blood in my eyes.  Some blood got in my mouth, though, so I guess one could say I have drunk the devil's blood.

Mikael blessed by the devil's blood

Erik Danielsson mentioned during the show that all of us will emerge from this "black cunt of blasphemy" (the cave) transformed and reborn.  Given that I am not a practicing satanist and only slightly align myself with the ways of the left hand path, I still left speechless and in complete utter awe after Watain finished their set.  

Watain is truly larger than their music, and their live shows are a very dark immersive experience that really stand to test all the senses.  Blood-soaked and audibly-raped, I truly believe that no other show will ever top Black Hole Fest Germania 2023.

It was very silly for me to drive 1.5 hours back to Köln at 2 AM drenched in blood; it would have been very suspicious were I to be pulled over.  

After getting back without issues and proceeding to take a shower to wash the now dry and crusted blood off of myself, I was ready to head out to Stockholm in the morning.

Stay tuned for part 2, which will be much more sausage-focused and less focused on black metal.

-Korv Mikael